DOWN HEARTED
Well, it was another hot sunny Saturday in August
and my co-pilot and I were just getting ready for our training mission
when my co-pilot, Lieutenant Jon Garfield, tapped me on the shoulder saying
he was depressed. His wife at home, who dumped him, wrote him a sorry note.
Garfield didn’t want to stick around for Jon’s100th rejection party and
now he missed everybody. He just felt homesick.
We went to the sickbay after the Mission. The doctors
there said he was downhearted, sad, gloomy and even a bit grumpy. The doctor
said this happens when the thick ventricle wall weakens the heart and realizes
it needs a nap until the wall regains strength by going home and being
loved. There is no cure for humans but for cats it’s different. We will
have to get you to your hometown immediately to see your family Wurtzel
you go to. Though Captain Stroman may not approve.
Before I walked out of the room the doctor told
me that this was the worst case of downhearted he ever saw and told me
to keep a close eye on Garfield. For animals, downhearted could lead to
suicide. As I walked out of the super structure, a big round orange ball
fell from the sky and right into my outstretched arms that were trying
to catch it. The big orange ball was Garfield! He had attempted suicide
like the doctor said he would be most likely to do. Then, Garfield muttered
something that sounded like, “The captain didn’t agree” I didn’t want my
co-pilot to commit suicide, so as I thought of what to do another pilot
who heard Garfield’s problem said he would sneak us off the ship.
The pilot flew a gray Marine copter. Before I knew
it, I was a fugitive hovering over the U.S.S Enterprise. Soon the captain
cursing that was getting chopped up in the sound of the propeller disappeared.
By the time we landed in a Marines base, in New York, Garfield had made
9 suicide attempts. Then he shot toward the door as quick as a bullet but
before he reached the door I caught him by the tail and reminded him we
were fugitives. Then Garfield started getting a bit grumpy and kicked the
door. The pilot was caught and accused of taking off without orders and
sneaking off to other fugitives off the ship. Then Garfield nearly got
us caught with all his sobbing and cursing at the guard. A half hour later
we escaped the base. Garfield then muttered something that sounded
like “We have to go to California.” I, being annoyed he didn’t say anything
earlier, bought airline tickets for Sunny Dale, California. Later, we boarded
the midnight flight. We were sitting next to a girl with a stake in her
hand, which Garfield was constantly trying to grab. The girl’s name was
Buffy Summers. Garfield then, all of a sudden, asked me to feel his heartbeat.
I could feel his heart thumping up the stairs.
One hour later, we landed at Garfield’s hometown.
We ran home with Garfield’s neighbors, Zander, Tara, Willow, and Onya.
Once we came through the doors, Jon Garfield’s owner came forward with
a tray of lasagna. Odie Garfield’s friend jumped forward and licked him.
Then, a nurse walked through the door and checked Garfield.
She said he was fine and left. Then Garfield pounced into the tray of lasagna
in Jon’s hands, ate it as quick as a bullet, and fell asleep without a
sob cry curse or sad look on his face.
By Ben
