A Cold Heart

     I am Diet Dr. Pepper, and just yesterday a man came into my office with his poor dog, screaming that there was something in his chest that was freezing.
I did some ultra sounds on his heart. The ultra sounds showed that he had a cold heart. I told him then that he most likely got this from acting nasty, not caring for anyone or thing even his dog.
    When his heart starts to pump blood slower the heart becomes colder. After observing him for a couple of hours it looked like he had done only bad things to get this cold heart.
Then I told him the symptoms of his cold heart. His blood would freeze. He would be very nasty to everyone including his very poor dog. He would push, punch, and kick everyone he saw. His dog looked like it took a beating.  For about a week his heart would be cold, but after the week he would still be in danger of dying from a cold heart. A cold heart usually last for about a couple of years.
    There are very few treatments I can think of. The one that cost the most is to get a new heart, which cost about $100,000. A cheap treatment is eating a lit match. This will not hurt if you really have a cold heart. Finally, the way that is free. Just stop hurting people, and start caring about them.
Well, about 3 years have gone by. Last time I saw him he had said that he had eaten a match. He said he was feeling fine.